NIGHTMOVES // Friday August 2

2:30pm – Tell your boss you’re going to get him a late lunch at this great new sandwich shop over on South First. Tell him your friend who just moved here from San Francisco found it last weekend and you went there and it was great. Leave work and go to End of an Ear to see Speedy Ortiz.

3pm – Watch speedy Ortiz, peruse records

4pm – Head back to work, pick up a couple 32 oz. beers at the First Street Food Mart and stash them in your car. Cost: $6

6pm – Work is done. Bust out of there. Straight up call the girl you Tindered last week and see if she’s interested in going to see The Tontons at Holy Mountain. They’re not a local band so you won’t have to explain yourself, plus, the Tontons are great if you’re interested in a little romance.

6:30pm – Get home and crack open your first 32 oz. If things went well on the phone call, plan on only drinking one of these. If the girl from last week doesn’t want to hang out, then plan on drinking both and know that you’re too good for her anyways. The rest of this column operates under the assumption that she doesn’t want to hang. Call the bros and tell them to meet you at Holy Mountain around 9pm.

7:30 – Crack open second 32 and hook your phone or computer up to some really loud speakers and crank this album called “Someone for You” by Warm Soda. It will put you in the mood.

8:30 – Leave early on bike for the Holy Mountain with a nice Bud buzz. Pull out $40 at the ATM. Pay $5 to get in. You have $35 left.

9:15 – Most likely your friends won’t be there cause no one really gets to shows at that time, but this is an opportunity for you to make friends with the cute bartender there. Just talk to her man. Get a whisky on the rocks or something, but don’t spend a lot. ($8 including tip.) You have $27 left.

10:00 – Now the first band is going on and you and your friends have your hand stamps. Head on over to Cheer Ups to drink and schmooze. Start working on finding a special someone for the night. Use the patented Nightmoves System to help you build up your confidence. Drink 2 Fireman 4′s ($10 including tip). You have $17 left

11:30 Head back over to Holy Mountain to see the Ton Tons. Work the room hard using the Nightmoves System.

1am – The show is over. Where to go with your latest squeeze you picked? Go split a falafel kabob at Kebabalicious. Don’t get it spicy cause that shit makes you feel bad after all the beers you drank. Plus, you got to put the moves on her later and want to be in good condition. Around $8 total for the falafel. You have something like $8 left.

1:45 – If she can, have her drive you home cause you rode your bike downtown. If not, theres an open door to a dance studio between East 6th and East 7th that I can’t disclose the name of.

Nightmoves is a column that details an ideal situation to see a couple shows, visit some cool bars where friends hang out, and have a few beers, all without having to spend a ton of money or be super cheap. Costs are relative and details are subject to change.